Dearest Simon
by Esperata
Summary: Is there anything more poignant than unrequited love? Jeanette pours her felings for Simon into a letter.
1. Chapter 1

_Dearest Simon,_

_You will never read this. So why am I writing it? Because I want to remember. Twenty years from now, when Britany has a successful career and Eleanor is happily married, I want to find this letter and remember how much I loved you. I never want to forget what it feels like to FEEL. Sometimes I worry about how good I am at hiding my feelings. I think surely someone will notice. Surely I'll have some flaw or crack in my armor but it seems not. I don't want to get so good at hiding that I forget myself what I'm feeling. But if that does happen, then I want to find this and remember I DO feel. I have loved and I have hurt. Even if all it brings me is pain, at least it will be better than no feeling at all._

_And some part of me thinks, if I happen to die, maybe someone else will find this letter and realise how deeply I truly felt. Not you though. I never want you to find this. You'd feel guilty and your memory of me would be spoilt. I never want anything to affect how you remember me. Nothing will affect how I think of you._

_Will you be married I wonder? Will some pretty girl have captured your heart as you captured mine? Or maybe she'll love another. Would you feel what I feel when I see you look at someone else? But no, how could she not love you? Of course she would. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Perhaps there is no girl good enough for you. Perhaps in twenty years you'll still be, as you are now, married to your science. I admit that's how I imagine you yet I would wish you love and happiness. Still some part of me hopes you'll always be free so I may continue to dream…_

Jeanette lay down her pen and stared out the window. Then with a sigh she folded the letter and placed it in a pretty, lockable, jewellery box. With a click, she symbolically locked her feelings away.


	2. Chapter 2

Dearest Simon

_Do you have any idea what your words meant to me? I think not, and that makes them infinitely more precious. If you spoke them without thinking, surely you meant them? I hardly dare write them in case I somehow jinx them. Can you truly think I'm pretty?_

_I was feeling so plain, so ugly. I look at Britany and see what I should aspire to, but I can never match her beauty. I watch Eleanor and see how I should behave, but I can never match her confidence. Yet you said _I_ was one of the lucky ones! As though I were popular! I'll never be popular at school. The fashionable kids see my glasses, my comfy jersey, my untidy feet and will _never_ see beyond that. The fun crowd think I'm cold and aloof, when really I'm just shy. I'll never be the centre of attention or the life of the party. And one hour ago that _mattered_ to me. Less than 60 minutes ago, I thought it was important because I thought that's what YOU thought. But if YOU think I'm pretty what do I care what the stuck-up kids think? If you want to hang around with me why should I bother with the party animals?_

_I wish I could share this joy with you. I wish you could feel the happiness I have now. Because you're the cause of it. But that would mean telling you WHY your opinion matters so much and I can't do that. If I wouldn't risk telling you before because I thought you'd _never_ feel the same, how can I tell you now when I risk losing the good opinion you DO have of me? But perhaps some day…_

Jeanette smiled to herself as she carefully laid the letter in her special jewellery box. She looked up at her reflection. The girl smiling back at her looked happy.

"Pretty…" she murmured.

_____________________________________________________________________

For those of you wondering exactly what Simon did to inspire this, read my one-shot 'Reflection'.


	3. Chapter 3

Dearest Simon

_If you knew what thoughts were flying round my head today, you'd blush. Something you once said has been replaying over and over in my mind. The images it brings to my mind…_

Jeanette closed her eyes momentarily and breathed deeply.

_Do you remember saying "I am not boring! I have wild, untapped passions burning and bubbling inside of me!"? Oh, if only you knew what passions lie within ME. Britany caught me daydreaming today. She thought I was thinking of school work or a project. She has no idea! Everyone sees me as the 'sensible' one. And I am, but that doesn't mean I don't have emotions, burning passions! I dream of kisses and love just like any other girl. I may not talk endlessly about it but I do __**think**__ of it. More and more often it seems._

Jeanette let her mind drift back to earlier that day. She and her sisters had been meeting the Chipmunks at their house. There'd been some confusion as to when they'd meet and the Chipettes were there earlier than expected. Alvin and Britany of course began arguing over whose fault it was while Eleanor joined Theodore having his breakfast (even though she'd had hers). Jeanette had waited in the hall and then she'd seen him. He'd heard Alvin downstairs and came to drag him back to their room so he could get ready. Jeanette had stared. She couldn't help it. He had been wearing nothing but a towel.

_Sometimes I think I'm like a dormant volcano. People see a calm exterior yet within is a torrent waiting to be let out. And I dream of the day that will happen. Would you be surprised? You do not think of me that way, I know, but if you did, would you understand? Surely you would for you've said yourself you're the same – 'untapped passions'. What an experience it would be! And it would be our secret because who else would ever suspect?_

Her pen hung in mid-air as images flashed through her mind again. The way his glasses had been steamed from the bathroom, the glittering way the water clung to his chest, that one drop which had rolled downwards…

For now it will be my secret. I'll keep it safe in my dreams. I just hope and pray one day you realise so you can unlock the passions I must keep locked away.


	4. Chapter 4

_Every day I try to say,_

_And every day I lose my way._

_You look so perfect standing there,_

_I cannot breathe, I have no air._

_And when you smile so sweetly,_

_I just lose my soul completely._

_I want to say to you,_

_That I will always be true._

_I want to beg of you,_

_That you will love me too._

"Not another poem!" The bit of paper disappeared so fast it might never have been there. But still not fast enough. "Why don't you just go over there already?"

"I can't."

"It's not so hard."

"Will you please forget it?"

"Just three little words."

"No."

"You've said them to me."

"You're family." A pair of arms crossed angrily.

"You won't say 'I love you' to the love of your life but you'll say them to me?"

"I told you, you're family. You love me, I love you, that's what family **is**. It's not the same with…"

"Oh, come on! You're perfect for each other! You're both smart…"

"Yeah, you mean 'smart' as in 'boring'."

"No! I mean as in 'share the same interests'. Wouldn't you love to go to a science convention together? Or a history museum?"

"Sure… but…"

"What but!? Just go over there and say how you feel!"

"But things are alright as they are! We can hang out together… and talk…"

"But not do any of the things I know you **want** to do. Like cuddle… and kiss…"

"I **won't** risk the friendship we have."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

"And nothing _lost_." They glared at each other.

"Argh! Are we really related?"

"I _can't_ risk ruining what I **do** have when I don't know for sure…"

"But… doesn't it eat away at you? Every day? To be so close but so far apart?"

"Yes… but not as much as simply being apart would." They sat on their beds.

"I can't imagine having that bottled inside. To not be able to show my true feelings. How'd you do it?"

"Unfortunately, very easily." For a moment they stared at each other. One so confident and out-going, the other so cautious and reserved. Family they may be, but they would never understand each other.

They were still sat there when Theodore came in.

"Simon? Alvin? Dave's waiting."

"Oh, of course," Simon got up. "We're recording our new album."

"Hey!" Alvin began to follow them out the room. "Won't the girls be there?"

"Oh, shut up Alvin."


	5. Chapter 5

"Alvin! What's happened to my poe… paperwork?"

"Oh, you mean your poem?" Simon gritted his teeth.

"Yes." Alvin lay back on his bed.

"I posted it."

"Posted it?"

"Well, hand delivered it really. Don't worry. I put your name on it." Simon went white.

"You didn't…" The doorbell rang and he ran to the window. Alvin grinned at his back but Simon didn't see. He was looking down at the brown haired chipette visible on the step. _Jeanette!_ The sound of Theodore opening the door came echoing up.

"Alvin!" Simon hissed. "How could you! You'll have ruined everything!" He seized his brother by the front of his jersey. Alvin opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted.

"Simon!" The normally calm chipmunk froze as Theodore called up. "Jeanette's here!" Simon looked panicked but he released Alvin.

"Relax, Simon. Just go talk to her."

"Yes," he muttered as he slowly left the room. "Perhaps I can explain…"

His mind was in a whirl as he carefully went downstairs. She was waiting in the doorway, apparently unwilling to actually come inside. _She hates me!_ He couldn't think of a single thing to say. After a second she spoke quietly.

"I got this." She didn't look up at him as she held out the poem. He instinctively took it. _Great! Thanks Alvin. Now she won't even __**look**__ at me!_

"I didn't send this Jeanette. Alvin did…" She looked up surprised. "For a joke."

"A joke? Oh!" She looked away again. _And now she's embarrassed._ "It wasn't very funny."

"No. It wasn't." She turned back to him with a bright smile.

"I thought it was odd."

"Yeah," he gave what he hoped sounded like an amused laugh. "How often do I write poetry?" She laughed too and he hoped she didn't notice how fake his smile was. "So… we're still friends, right?"

"Of course." She smiled her sweet smile that always left him breathless. "You can't help Alvin trying to embarrass you." He struggled to think of something else to say. Something normal to show he wasn't embarrassed. She beat him to it.

"Britany's very lucky. That's a beautiful poem."

"You think so?" She nodded, her eyes on the paper still in his hand.

"I'd love to have got that written for me." Her eyes suddenly went wide and she stuttered, "I mean from someone I love. I mean, a boyfriend, not a friend who's a boy." She was blushing and stared down at her feet.

"Why don't you keep it?" He held it out. "It'd serve Alvin right for playing such a nasty trick." She shook her head but kept her eyes firmly on her toes.

"No. It doesn't mean as much… it wasn't written for me." They stood silent a moment before Jeanette suddenly looked up again with a smile.

"I have to get back. Miss Miller will wonder where I am." She was already turning as he replied.

"Of course. I'll… I'll see you tomorrow." She waved from the end of the path and he stood in the doorway watching her leave. _I hope she doesn't feel awkward round me forever._ As he shut the door, he leaned back against it. His heart was still hammering and he closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself. _The way she'd refused to meet his eyes when she thought the poem was from __**him**__._ He slid to the floor. She'd never think of him as anything other than a friend, that was abundantly clear now. Slowly he stood up and sadly made his way down to his lab. He needed to take his mind off his breaking heart.


	6. Chapter 6

_Dearest Simon_

_I had no idea I could cry this much. I had no idea I could __**hurt**__ this much. This morning I felt so wonderful. Now I just feel like I could die._

_I hope you didn't see me cry. I don't think you did. They didn't start falling until I was down the path and too far away for you to see. Then I just hid in the tree house. Thinking back now, I wish Eleanor, or even Britany, had come and found me. I've never felt so alone. I'd pulled myself together by the time I got home. But I can't keep this locked inside. I thought I was on top of it then, after dinner, I felt myself well up again. I had to lock myself in the bathroom and run a bath to drown the sound of my tears. I'm writing this in the hope that it will calm my turbulent emotions._

_You can have no idea how much I've suffered today. To have your love ripped away from me as a _joke._ I've never known Alvin be so cruel. When I read those words this morning, and thought they came from your heart… I engraved them on my own. Now they torture me. A reminder of what we'll never be. And I know it's not fair but I suddenly hate Britany. My own sister. Because she has what I'll never have._

_I try to comfort myself that I've not _really_ lost anything. I never had your love and I still have your friendship. __**You**__ weren't hurt by Alvin's _joke_. But for a brief while… I __**did**__ have your love. For a little while, I was in heaven. Now… now I'm in hell._

_The thought of seeing you tomorrow, once my reason for getting up, is now painful. Your laugh, once like sweet music to me, now echoes with derision._

_Do you think me stupid? Do you wonder how I could have fallen for Alvin's trick? Will you look at me differently tomorrow? Or will you act like nothing has changed? I don't know which I fear more. I only know that I've lost the one thing that I dreamt of. Your reaction, your amusement, at the idea of __**us**__, made it very clear that you will never love me. What else is there for me to hope for…_

Slowly, a tear began to run down Jeanette's cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

"Brittany! What are you doing?" The chipette glanced up from where she was knelt by the bedside.

"Oh, it's you Eleanor." She turned back to rummaging in the drawer.

"Why are you going through Jeanette's things?"

"I," she slammed one drawer shut, "am finding out," she pulled the next one open, "what is up with her."

"By going through her stuff?" Eleanor sat on her sister's bed. Brittany looked up frustrated.

"You know she'll never tell us herself, she's so… so…"

"Introverted? Shy?"

"I was going to say wooden." Brittany quickly continued before her sister could protest. "Do you believe she was really sick today?" Eleanor hesitated.

"No."

"Exactly. Something must be seriously wrong for her to skive off school." She turned back to the drawer and Eleanor bit her lower lip.

It was true Jeanette had been unusually emotional and for it to show so that Brittany noticed meant it was _really_ bad. Not that Brittany was a bad sister. Just that she tended not to notice things that didn't immediately affect her. She coughed as Brittany shoved the last drawer back in.

"Try under the bed." Brittany looked surprised but dropped down and looked. With a small cry of triumph she dragged out a box hidden alongside the bedside table and the wall. She glanced it over before handing it to Eleanor.

"Oh! It's locked."

"No problemo." Brittany was hurrying to her own bed and returned with a nail file.

"Brittany! You can't…"

"Objection noted." She interrupted as she deftly inserted the metal file and the lid popped open. Eleanor bit her lip again as Brittany pulled out a pile of papers and started to read.

"Ooh!" she suddenly growled. "I knew it was Alvin's fault." She covered her mouth with her hand as she continued to read.

"Alvin's fault? You didn't think that earlier when you were kissing him goodbye." Eleanor teased. Brittany frowned as she thrust the letter at Eleanor.

"Read that." Eleanor's eyes widened as she scanned the page. Then she began to cry. "Oh, poor Jeanette. Poor, poor, poor, Jeanette." Brittany was fuming next to her.

"How dare that arrogant fool play a trick like this on my sister! Making her think Simon had written her a love letter! Turning her against **me**!"

"Maybe Alvin didn't realise…" Eleanor began hesitantly.

"Oh he knew." Brittany said darkly. "Where would the _fun_ be if she didn't care for him?"

"Surely Alvin wouldn't be so cruel?" Eleanor looked at her sister with wet eyes. "You know him better than anyone, do you really think he'd pull such a trick?"

"If you're asking me who'd I'd believe between Alvin and Jeanette," she held up the tear stained letter. "Then the answer is most definitely Jeanette." They sat silently a moment, each reflecting on how their sister had been suffering in silence, when suddenly Brittany stood up. She pushed the letters back in the box and hoisted it under her arm. Then she headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to teach a certain chipmunk that it's not nice to mess with a girl's feelings."


	8. Chapter 8

Alvin opened the door with one of his most charming smiles.

"Brittany! Miss me already?" She slapped him hard across the cheek. "What was that for?"

"That was for Jeanette. How could you Alvin? How could you do that to her?" He sighed and ambled back to the stairs where he could sit down. She glowered at him from the doorway.

"Brittany, it's not what you think." He rubbed his sore cheek.

"Really? You _didn't _write a letter to Jeanette supposedly from Simon? You _didn't_ embarrass her and hurt her by raising her hopes only to have them smashed?" He looked up at the angry chipette and sighed again.

"I _did_ send her a poem, but it _was_ written by Simon to her. I was _trying_ to help them."

"Really? Then why if it was **really** written by Simon does Jeannette think it was you?"

"Because," Alvin was beginning to get annoyed, "Simon was too cowardly to admit he wrote it. **He** told Jeannette **I** wrote it."

"You expect me to believe that? Dry, logical Simon has been secretly writing poems for my sister?" She laughed. "You could at least have pretended it was Theodore."

"It _was_ Simon. Look, if you don't believe me," he stood up and began to go upstairs.

"Where are you going?"

"To our room. Come and see for yourself." Huffily, she followed him upstairs. She wrinkled her nose as she stepped over Alvin's mess in the bedroom and looked on as Alvin stood by Simon's bedside table. It was a simple shelf top with a cupboard underneath. She looked at Alvin expectantly. With a grin, he gripped the table top and pulled. It slid forward to reveal a secret compartment. Despite herself, Brittany was impressed. He pulled out the top piece of paper and handed it to her. She quickly read it and was touched.

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah, who'd have thought he had it in him, huh?" Alvin glanced over another one.

"So," Brittany looked at Alvin, "he really does love her?" He nodded.

"I've been telling him for ages to just tell her, but what can I say?" Alvin shrugged. "He's an idiot. So I thought perhaps if I gave him a little shove, sent her one of his poems, he might _have_ to confess. Guess it backfired huh?"

"Jeanette's miserable." She opened the box she was carrying and pulled out Jeanette's most recent letter again. "Look." Alvin gritted his teeth as he read.

"Simon's a complete idiot! All he had to do was say he wrote the damn poem and everyone would have been happy! Now he's depressed and Jeanette's heartbroken. Seriously, you should tell her he's not worth it."

"I would if I thought she'd listen." She sat beside Alvin on the bed. "What are we going to do?" They sat in silence. Then Alvin's eyes fell on Jeanette's box. He glanced at Simon's secret drawer. He began to grin. Brittany frowned at him.

"What?"

"I've got a great idea." She looked dubious but he elaborated. "You get Simon over to your place and arrange for him to accidentally discover Jeanette's letters. I'll get Jeanette over here and get her to find Simon's poems. Bingo!"

"How'll I get Simon over to our place? He only ever comes with you guys or to see Jeannette."

"Theodore can ask him to go with him. You know he doesn't like walking home alone at night. And you can bring Jeanette here. Say you're angry with me and want reinforcements or something."

"I'd hardly need reinforcements against you." Brittany grinned.

"Eleanor will help won't she?"

"Of course."

"Then it's a plan."


	9. Chapter 9

"How long are we going to be Theodore? I'm in the middle of a very important experiment." Theo glanced at his brother. Simon looked tired and was rubbing his forehead. Theodore didn't like to lie but was pleased that so far he'd managed to avoid it (even if he'd omitted some details).

"I don't know Simon. Ellie just said she wanted help with some homework." _She might have said it a year ago though. _Theodore quickly rang the doorbell. Ellie answered unusually promptly but if Simon noticed it didn't show.

"Theodore! And Simon. Come in."

"Hello Eleanor," Simon said politely. They all stood in the hallway waiting. Eleanor suddenly remembered why she'd said she wanted them over.

"Oh, yes! My homework's in the living room Theodore." He nodded and followed her in. Simon headed after them but Eleanor had no sooner stepped in the room when she exclaimed.

"Oh no! I've left some papers upstairs." Both she and Theodore looked back at Simon. He sighed.

"I can get them for you. Where are they?"

"In my room, on my bed. I keep them in a box." Simon raised an eyebrow at the unusual storage choice but turned back to the hallway.

_Really, _he thought as he wandered upstairs, _if they wanted to be left alone why did Theodore invite me in the first place?_ He sighed again. _It wasn't even as though Jeanette was here._ He'd asked Theodore casually when he'd asked if Simon could come, but she was out somewhere with Brittany. He stepped into the chipette's bedroom. There were a couple of boxes on beds. Which was Eleanor's?

_That has to be Jeanette's bed._ He smiled and went closer. _That was her writing on those papers._ He hesitated. Ordinarily he'd never look through anyone else's things, especially not Jeanette's. But they weren't hidden and Eleanor had sent him up here. Plus she probably wanted some time alone with Theodore.

He sat down and idly picked up the top paper. _Perhaps it's her work for that science project…_

*

"Why do I have to come Brittany?"

"I told you. I'm sure he's hiding something from me and I need you to find out what it is." Jeanette looked miserable and Brittany felt bad for lying to her. But it was for her own good!

"Couldn't Eleanor help you?"

"You know she's studying with Theodore." _And Simon's there._ If possible Jeanette looked more uncomfortable. Brittany knew part of her wanted to see Simon. She also knew a much larger part of her wanted to hide from him forever. _Jeanette, if only you realised…_

"Hello Brittany! And Jeanette, what a wonderful surprise."

"Yes." Brittany wasted no time storming in. Alvin followed her into the kitchen and Jeanette hesitantly followed.

"I wanted to talk to you Alvin." Brittany flashed a charming smile and batted her eyelashes. Jeanette recognized the signal.

"I have to use the bathroom. Excuse me." She hurried upstairs.

She didn't want to be doing this. She _really_ didn't want to be doing this. She _knew_ what Alvin was hiding. She'd thought… she quickly shut down that thought before it made her cry. She took a deep breath. All she had to do was get in the boys room, find the poem, and take it to Brittany. _It'll make her so happy._ She bit her lip and began systematically going through Alvin's shelves. It wasn't there. She looked all round his bed but couldn't see a hint of poetry. _Perhaps he got rid of it?_

Her eye was caught by Simon's bedside table. The top was half off. She went over to push it back into place and couldn't help but gasp. It was a secret drawer… full of poems. Without thinking she picked the top one up. It was the poem she'd read before… the one she'd thought was for her. A tear slid down her cheek. _Was he hiding them for Alvin? So if Brittany tried to find them she wouldn't be able to?_ Some perverse impulse made her pick up another. _If only these were written for me…_

Her heart stopped and she re-read the line several times before her mind could accept the fact that _her name was in it!_ _Not Brittany, but Jeanette. _As he heart began to hammer in her chest she picked up another… and another. Mostly they were simply beautiful poems, but here and there there were references. Brown hair, green eyes 'framed as the beautiful works of art they surely are'.

She didn't notice her tears nor how long she sat but suddenly she was compelled to move. To run. Simon wrote these! He wrote them for her! Still clutching the precious words she ran down the stairs and straight out the door. Alvin and Brittany watched her leave.

"I think it's working."


	10. Chapter 10

Jeanette was out of breath when she reached her own house. She didn't have a thought in her head except to see Simon. She certainly didn't have a plan but for the first time since _that_ morning she felt everything would work out. However she stopped short at the sight of Eleanor and Theodore sitting sadly on the front step.

"Eleanor? Theodore? What's happened?"

"Oh, Jeanette!" Eleanor jumped up surprised. "Um…"

"It's my fault." Theodore interrupted.

"What's your fault Theodore?"

"It's not his fault, really. It was Alvin and Brittany's idea…"

"What, Eleanor?" Jeanette interrupted, fear creeping into her again. Eleanor hesitated but Theodore blurted out.

"Simon found your letters."

"My letters?" She looked to Eleanor. "You know about my letters?"

"Brittany was worried about you! She found them… and I read them. Then she wanted to punish Alvin so we went over there but when he read it…"

"_Alvin's _read my letters? Eleanor! That was personal!" Eleanor looked ashamed.

"I didn't read it," Theodore offered. Jeanette looked from one to the other. They still hadn't told her what she needed to know.

"What did Simon think?" _Please, don't let him think she was a fool._ Theodore glanced at Eleanor again, then timidly spoke.

"He was really upset."

"He blames himself." Eleanor added.

"Where is he now?" Jeanette ran up to the door as though he might be behind them.

"He wanted to be alone." Theodore explained. "He really took it hard. We didn't think…"

_No,_ Jeanette wanted to scream, _you didn't think. You let him read my letters which not only showed how hopeless I am but also how foolish _he'd_ been._ She sank down onto the step.

"It's _my_ fault. I should never have written them. I thought it would help to let my feelings out. I should have let them out to him." Eleanor sat by her.

"You didn't know if he'd feel the same. You just didn't want to get hurt."

"But he _did_. The poem I wrote about? It _was_ from him. He wrote it for me." Eleanor looked awkward.

"Actually, I knew that. Only recently," she quickly added. "That's why Brittany took you over there. To find the poems."

"Why didn't she just tell me? Why didn't you just tell Simon?" She gestured angrily at Theodore.

"He wouldn't have believed it, Jeanette." Eleanor intercepted her sister's anger. "Would you have believed Brittany if she said Simon had written you those poems? _After_ you'd already thought Alvin had tricked you?" Jeanette looked away.

"No, I suppose not." They stood in silence. Then Jeanette stood up and marched away.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Simon and tell him what I should have months ago."


	11. Chapter 11

She had set out with determination but no clear idea of where she was going. As the time passed and she seemed no closer to actually finding him, her confidence faded away. Would he have changed his mind about her after reading her most personal thoughts? She blushed as she suddenly recalled writing about him in the towel… Did he think she was obsessive? Hopelessly romantic? Was he embarrassed by her 'untapped passions'? She felt emotionally drained. This morning, she was devoid of all hope. Then, suddenly, her heart had swelled to discover he loved her. Or at least, _had_ loved her. Her feelings were now so unsettled she had no idea what she felt. Hope, that he may love her still. Fear, that he no longer loved her. Anger, that her sisters had pulled this trick on them. Gratitude, that her sisters had pulled this trick on them. She felt like she was lost in a sea of emotions and Simon was the boat that would stabilise her again, one way or another.

With a sigh she headed to the chipette's tree house. She needed to rest and collect her thoughts. It never occurred to her it might already be occupied.

He scrambled to his feet as she came in.

"Simon! I've been looking everywhere for you." He hastily wiped his eyes and she realised he'd been crying.

"Jeanette. I was just… I left Eleanor and Theodore to do their homework…" He wouldn't meet her eyes. She spoke quietly.

"I know you read my letters."

"I never meant to Jeanette! I thought they were your homework!"

"That's alright," she gave a humourless laugh. "It seems everyone else has read them." He hesitated.

"Jeanette… about the poem… I didn't know…" She felt herself blushing and looked at her feet. "I didn't know Alvin would send it." She suddenly realised he had no idea she'd found his poems. She continued to keep her eyes down.

"I suppose you read the other letters?"

"I shouldn't have… they were personal…" She looked up and finally met his eyes.

"It was all true though Simon. I do love you." She looked away again. "But I don't suppose you do." _Please, say it._

"Jeanette…" She resisted looking at him. She had to hear it from him, here and now. "The poem Alvin sent you…" She couldn't help it. She glanced back at his pale blue eyes. "I wrote it… for you." She smiled.

"I know." He looked confused.

"But…"

"Theodore tricked you into reading my letters. Brittany tricked me into finding your poems." He looked embarrassed.

"You read them all?" She nodded. He sat down heavily. "I'm so sorry I never told you Jeanette. I had no idea how you felt. I didn't think you liked me that way." She went and sat next to him.

"I should have said something too, instead of just writing everything down and locking it away." He looked at her sitting next to him.

"I never meant to hurt you Jeanette." She looked at him. He'd never looked more vulnerable.

"I know Simon." She smiled. "And despite everything, I still love you."

"I don't deserve you." She took his hand.

"We've both been idiots." She grinned. "I'm just glad I have such an annoying, forthright, caring sister." He smiled back at her.

"I probably owe Alvin an apology too. And there's something else." He looked away from her again. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" He rested his head against hers and sighed.

"I love you Jeanette."


End file.
